Love and Marriage by Berry Simpson (NOTES)
I have no illusions that our marriage is invulnerable. No
relationship is bulletproof. We will continue to suffer attacks
on our relationship from now on. The world will pressure us to
fall apart, to break up, to destroy what is important to us; we
should expect nothing less.

Probably the best thing we did very early was to decide how we
would talk about each other and about our marriage. We decided to
keep our mouths shut about any complaints or struggles or
dissatisfactions. I don't mean that we walled ourselves off from
people who wanted to help us, but we guarded and protected each
other as individuals and as a couple. We were careful about what
we said to others.

But I knew that over time, talk like that would eventually
change the shape of my heart. I decided not to do it. I didn't
want to talk myself out of being in love.

Cyndi talks about us as a couple, visualizing our role as
living back-to-back, taking on all attackers. Any challenge
against one was an attack on both of us. We were back-to-back,
shoulder blade-to-shoulder blade, fending off the world if
necessary. Not that we were combative, but that we were always on
the same side.

That means we didn't have to guard our own back from our own
partners. It means we didn't tell things on each other, even to
our own families. I didn't tell things on Cyndi to my family or
friends, and she didn't tell things on me to her family and
friends. And so, we never had to be afraid of being ambushed in a
future family conversation with some personal piece of
embarrassing information.


- posted by Eric @ 3:09 PM